Girl Talk with the General
by SumerianScribe
Summary: Bolin's feeling down on his luck, so General Iroh takes him out for a few drinks. Oneshot.


**girl talk with the general**

They're all heading back to Republic City tomorrow morning, where Korra will restore the bending of each of Amon's victims. All the while stealing glances and soft smiles at Mako. Because she loves him. And he loves her. _Whoop-de-doo._

Bolin lets go of a weary sigh. He sits hunched outside the compound that Korra grew up in. He wonders how she survived, locked up in the middle of an icy nowhere. Maybe that's why she's into firebenders.

"Girl trouble?" Somebody claps Bolin on the shoulder. He looks up to find that it's General Iroh, who had accompanied them to the South Pole despite his busy schedule.

"Whaaat?" Bolin says immediately. "_Nooo._ I mean, after everything... You know, how could I be worrying about girls after all that, right?"

"Bolin, it's written all over your face." The general smirks and turns away. He flicks his wrist, motioning for the earthbender to follow. "This may be a frozen wasteland, but I've visited here before. There's a good bar around here somewhere, if I recall correctly. A good drink or two is what you need."

Well... if the general of the United Forces commands it, Bolin thinks, who is he to refuse?

**/.|.|.|.\**

It isn't until they have downed several drinks that Bolin feels ready to talk—well, until he feels ready to talk about girls. Up until then, he had been rambling on about the Water Tribe noodles at Narook's Seaweed Noodlery.

"You know, sir, General, sir," Bolin mumbles after describing—in great detail—his favourite Water Tribe dish, "I took Korra out there to Narook's for a night out, once. That night, I thought we... I thought we had something, you know? Something special."

The general sits back on his stool, slightly amused by how much of a lightweight the young earthbender is. His words are already beginning to get slurred. "Really now, Bolin," Iroh drawls. "So that's what's been bothering you, huh?" Being in love with the teenage Avatar must be tough to handle, especially when she's head over heels for your brother.

"Yeah! That's what's been bothering me," Bolin eagerly agrees, with a forceful kind of enthusiasm. He knocks back his cup and winces as the alcohol touches his lips before once again entering his system. "You know..." the earthbender starts again. "You know... 'M always jus' _Mako's brother _to everybody, and... and I thought that was different with Korra. She... was _special._ Special."

"I'm sure there are plenty of fangirls that would be honoured to have you bed them." After a beat, Iroh registers his own comment with slight surprise. _I must have had more to drink than I initially thought..._

Bolin shakes his head vigorously. His thick hair, having long come out of its carefully prepared style, proceeds to flop ungracefully into his eyes, hiding his heavy-set eyebrows. "No... S'not the same. They're all after _Mako _anyway, not really me. E-Even Korra..."

Iroh isn't sure now whether Bolin's voice is trembling from drunkenness or if there are tears in the earthbender's eyes. It's too hard to see past his hair. _Say something,_ the general orders himself. Giving advice is in his namesake, after all (although great-great-uncle Iroh would probably give it over tea rather than liquor.) "Uh, that Asami Sato..." Iroh begins slowly. "Well, she seems to like you, right? Bet she'd be into some rebound action." _Jeez, Iroh, tone it down, he's just a kid._

"I can't jump on my bro's ex-girlfriend!" Bolin straightens in his seat, his head pivoting towards Iroh. His eyes turn wide and questioning, and indeed, they are brimming with moisture. A pearly tear glistens on his cheek, forgotten. "Wait." He scrunches his eyebrows together as though trying to remember something. "...Can I?"

"Sure," the general replies easily, "why not?" His fingers curl around another drink, ignoring the scrutinizing glare the bartender is aiming at Bolin.

"Wow! _Wow. _Wow..." The earthbender repeats the word a few times, before mumbling, "I like her... and I think..." He trails off.

"Let go of the Avatar, kid," Iroh advises. "It's bad for your health to continue pursuing something so out of reach."

"Mako's... Mako's _better _than me, isn't he?" Bolin twiddles his thumbs, refraining to ask for more drinks. He stares into his lap. "That's why Korra wants him and why Asami wants him and the fangirls want him and..." He slumps down on the counter.

_How am I going to get this kid back to the compound? _Iroh thinks exasperatedly. "Listen, Bolin," he says with a sigh, "this is what you need to do—you should learn metalbending. That would impress the ladies, right? Right, Bolin?"

"Yeah... Yeah!" Bolin abruptly straightens again. "Mako can bend lightning! If I can do metal... Korra—Asami—girls—aghhhh. She'll like me... right, General?"

"Of course," Iroh replies. He isn't even sure who Bolin's talking about anymore. "Doing a little growing up might not hurt either."

"Girls like tall guys," Bolin agrees. "Like Mako."

That wasn't what the general meant, but whatever. "And quit comparing yourself to Mako."

Bolin slams the countertop, earning another glare from the bartender and a startled expression from Iroh. "W-Wait! You—you can't tell me what to do!" The last of Bolin's coherence leaves him as the earthbender suddenly points an accusing finger at the general. "You... I... I bet you're Amon. You can fly. I saw you. I saw you!"

Iroh sighs. Maybe tea would have been a better idea than this, after all.

* * *

_Bottom line: I'm not good at writing drunk!fictions._

_Thanks for reading,_

_SumerianScribe_


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